Fear Not

     Growing up I have always been afraid of something.  In general most people are or we wouldn't be human.  I hate spiders, storms, and bees (which includes anything with a stinger protruding out of its rear end).  The one thing that has always topped the true fear chart was not being able to have a baby.  I have always had this feeling that I would have a hard time getting pregnant.  As life would have it, I was correct.  When your worse fear becomes a reality I think either 2 things can happen 1) you let it consume you (I will say at times I let it) or 2) you put on your big girl panties and face it straight on with a whole lot of help from God.  I eventually chose option number 2. 
     Upon conquering an old fear, wouldn't you know that a new one appeared.  The day I found out I was pregnant was the most shocking experience of my life.  I did not allow myself the joy of getting excited until I had blood work done to ensure that I was pregnant.  In reality, I wasn't 100% sure of our pregnancy until I had the ultrasound and heard that precious heartbeat.  At that moment a new fear entered my brain what if I lose this baby?  Sadly, that fear did not have enough time to manifest itself because we lost our little Peanut a few weeks after hearing his heartbeat. 
     Chase and I have talked about adopting for several years and when the door was opened to us again we took that as God telling us it was time.  With every new adventure new fears will slowly creep in.  I don't know how many times someone asked a silly question like: "What if the mother changes her mind?"  More times than not, I want to just laugh and tell them if they have thought of that situation, then I have thought of ten different scenarios that could play out ten different ways. 
     Life is full of worry and anxiety.  When one disappears you can be sure that another will soon take its place.  The real question is will you let that fear/worry/anxiety or whatever, control you?
     A favorite verse of mine has always been: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  (Philippians 4:6)  It wasn't until recently that I was reading through the whole books of Philippians that I stumbled upon the small sentence before it which reads "The Lord is near."  What an amazing reminder for us that in the midst of the raging storm we are in we can have the assurance that the Lord is right by our side.  I know that when we do have children we will be met with a whole new set of fears.  However, I will always try to remember that the Lord is near.  Until next time, always Chasing Hope. 

Under the Sea

     Finally a light-hearted post that is completely dedicated to our nursery.  From the moment I knew I wanted children I began planning the room that my precious son or daughter would be staying in.  For the longest time, I knew that our nursery would be very gender specific, after all it wouldn't take us long to get pregnant.  The longer the wait became the more I had my heart set on not finding out the gender of our baby if we did end up pregnant.  We are still in the same situation with our adoption.  Being open to any gender was another way for us to be chosen faster.  However, I did not want to bring my tiny newborn home to some lifeless room, but I also didn't want it to be gender specific either. 
     We found our answer while on vacation in the summer of 2014.  Strolling through a Bed, Bath and Beyond in the small Vero Beach community in Florida, we found the canvas print that you see below on the left.  The colorful fish spoke to me and at that moment I knew that this was the start of our nursery.  Chase and I love everything about the beach and the ocean.  So much so that our master suite is a beach theme.  Upon returning home we found the canvas on the left at our Bed, Bath and Beyond closer to home.  My favorite pieces would have to be the three metal works of art we found this summer in Myrtle Beach which you see below as well.  They match perfectly with our already existing prints. 

 

     When we signed with Angel we began clearing out our front bedroom.  During our home visit for our home study the room was completely cleared and empty, but we hadn't begun painting yet.  I knew that with all the colorful art we were collecting that the wall color should be a neutral color.  Scouring the internet, I loved the gray color that I found on almost every trendy wall.  My dad is a very meticulous painter so I knew I could ask him and he would get the job done well.  He always pulls through.  Upon seeing the room I was initially nervous that I had chosen a color too dark, but I had to trust my decorating gut on this one because my end product looked amazing (maybe even magazine worthy) in my head. 

    

     Finally a few months later, our nursery is complete.  With the help of several Etsy shops and some amazingly talented store owners, I bring to you our nursery.  I was never set on a typical nursery set and glad I didn't settle for one.  Find pieces from the four winds sounded just like our style and possibly how we would find our Angel baby.  

     The jelly fish came from an Etsy shop and look even better in person.  The rocker (a personal favorite) is one that I finally found on Babies-R-Us (online only).  My wonderful mother bought it for us for Christmas. 

 

 

     The picture frames came from another Etsy shop.  They were a little pricy, but well put together and look phenomenal.  You can customize colors and sizes.  The canvas on the far left is from an Etsy shop as well and I made the other one.  In the shop you purchase the wording and can put in on canvas, frame, or wall art you want.  I used Wal-Mart and they were very affordable.  The net and the lettering came from my almost sister-in-law who helped throw our shower.  The "baby" will stay up until we have our little one in our arms.  To our families disappointment, we will not share the names we have picked.  I will say that they will fit in the space. 

 

     I had a blast finding the perfect piece to our nursery.  The planning, purchasing, and making sure everything is in place has been a genuine distraction.  I just pray that it will be filled with a sweet baby some day soon.  Others are reading this post and wondering why I put the cart before the horse.  I couldn't imagine bringing my first child home to a boring nursery.  It just isn't my style.  Every woman goes through the nesting phase of their pregnancy where she plans and cleans like crazy.  The best part of this phase is that she knows in a certain number weeks she will bring home a tiny bundle of joy to fill it.  Not having that luxury, I have tried to make the best of my current situation and nest a little myself.  Until next time friends, always Chasing Hope.