Fear Not

     Growing up I have always been afraid of something.  In general most people are or we wouldn't be human.  I hate spiders, storms, and bees (which includes anything with a stinger protruding out of its rear end).  The one thing that has always topped the true fear chart was not being able to have a baby.  I have always had this feeling that I would have a hard time getting pregnant.  As life would have it, I was correct.  When your worse fear becomes a reality I think either 2 things can happen 1) you let it consume you (I will say at times I let it) or 2) you put on your big girl panties and face it straight on with a whole lot of help from God.  I eventually chose option number 2. 
     Upon conquering an old fear, wouldn't you know that a new one appeared.  The day I found out I was pregnant was the most shocking experience of my life.  I did not allow myself the joy of getting excited until I had blood work done to ensure that I was pregnant.  In reality, I wasn't 100% sure of our pregnancy until I had the ultrasound and heard that precious heartbeat.  At that moment a new fear entered my brain what if I lose this baby?  Sadly, that fear did not have enough time to manifest itself because we lost our little Peanut a few weeks after hearing his heartbeat. 
     Chase and I have talked about adopting for several years and when the door was opened to us again we took that as God telling us it was time.  With every new adventure new fears will slowly creep in.  I don't know how many times someone asked a silly question like: "What if the mother changes her mind?"  More times than not, I want to just laugh and tell them if they have thought of that situation, then I have thought of ten different scenarios that could play out ten different ways. 
     Life is full of worry and anxiety.  When one disappears you can be sure that another will soon take its place.  The real question is will you let that fear/worry/anxiety or whatever, control you?
     A favorite verse of mine has always been: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  (Philippians 4:6)  It wasn't until recently that I was reading through the whole books of Philippians that I stumbled upon the small sentence before it which reads "The Lord is near."  What an amazing reminder for us that in the midst of the raging storm we are in we can have the assurance that the Lord is right by our side.  I know that when we do have children we will be met with a whole new set of fears.  However, I will always try to remember that the Lord is near.  Until next time, always Chasing Hope.