Friday, October 9, 2015

WE'RE LIVE!!!!!

     It's finally official; after several weeks of waiting we are finally home study approved and live on the internet.  Now a mother could chose us who is nine months and a day pregnant or still early on in her pregnancy.  She could even view our profile now via the internet on the Angel website in the comfort of her own home.  So, here we are ready to wait, pray, and repeat.  Hoping and praying that getting a match doesn't take the full two years or sixteen months (our real time frame because it took us four months to become home study approved).  Until next time friends, always Chasing Hope and patiently waiting. 

Monday, October 5, 2015

The Dreaded Baby Registry

     Sitting in the car outside of Babies 'R' Us, I am filled with this sickening feeling way down deep in the pit of my stomach.  I know I need to go into this baby fueled building and register for my upcoming baby shower.  The only thoughts running through my mind are completely toxic.  How will this go?  Will they judge me as soon as I walk in and don't have that bump?  What will they say once I share that we are adopting?  Will they even consider me a mommy?  All of these questions are insane; frankly because I don't know anyone and why would they care.
     Walking a little too quickly to the door and a cold chill in the air, I enter with my other rock by my side.  I am so relieved that Chase came with me.  Stepping up to the counter I see that it is vacant (thank you God) and sit down in front of a clipboard where I will have to fill out information about myself.  Great here come the crazy questions.  Almost instantly I am speechless all over what line two on the form says.  Are you adopting?  That little line made every little fear vanish until the employee came over to "help". 
     Upon sitting down she's asks a simple question.  When are you due?  For a woman like myself it is one I hate to hear.  There isn't a due date, at least not yet.  The only think I could think of to say was, "1-24 months".  I'm a smarty pants what can I say.  That got her to look up from her computer and I said that we were adopting which she would have been able to see if she would have looked at the application I handed her.  No harm, I'll assume the adoption registry is rare, but I am so grateful that it is even an option. 
     Then she proceeded to ask when the due date was.  I guess in order for them to register a couple into the computer you have to put in a date.  Well, as I just told her not five minutes before that we were adopting and didn't have a date.  I know people don't think this way, but if a couple is adopting the odds might weigh heavily that they can't have children or are having problems having them.  Why would you continue to ask a woman who doesn't know what to say and mentioned that we were adopting, the same question a million times?  Finally settling on the shower date, we moved past that wonderful question and arrive to the fun part, adding items to our registry. 
     All I have to say is WOW, they make so much baby stuff.  It was so overwhelming just looking and trying to figure out what we might need.  I cannot imagine having the extra added hormones of a pregnancy and making a registry.  We fire off a few things because honestly we just want to stick with the basics.  Making our way back to our to the counter, we spot our lady that helped us fill out the paper work.  To tie a bow on what I knew would be a strange trip, she proceeded to tell me how she was a doula and if we needed anything here was all of her contact information.  Again not pregnant or having a baby, it was too bad that she couldn't remember that little bubble I filled in earlier. 
     The long and short of this post is that adoption is making its way a little stronger into our culture.  Sadly, the worker awareness when helping a potential mother might not be the best but at least it's a start.  Any progress is progress I guess.  Until next time, always Chasing Hope. 

My Blogiversary

    
     WOW, I can't believe that it has been one year since I hit the publish button to complete my first blog post.  To take that a step further I took another huge leap of faith and shared it via Facebook.  If you would have told me last year that people would actually read what I write I would have told you sure but only my family will read.  They have to right?  From the bottom of my heart I thank you for reading and some of you even share it with your friends who don't know me.  I pray that this blog continues to help others during their infertility and adoption journeys.  Until next time friends, always Chasing Hope. 

Sunday, October 4, 2015

To Shower or Not to Shower

     That my friends is a huge question, and I'm not talking about hygiene.  I have been going back and forth about this situation in my head since we started the adoption process.  Searching the depths of the internet, I looked high and low and finally came to a decision.  It is completely up to me. 
     I know for a fact that God has a baby in mind for us, and who knows I could eat my words later on down the road.  Not that it wouldn't be a new concept for me.  Here is what I know.  When we do get that glorious call to rush to the hospital, I want to be ready.  It could be that we are picked and have time to wait, but I don't want to take a chance of getting that call and not being prepared.  It just simply won't work for me and isn't in my personality. 
     There have been several people mention about not being chosen or coming up babyless for lack of a better word.  This was another endless conversation in my head too and one that I try hard not to think about.  When we signed on with Angel I felt a calm like I've never felt in all the years we spent trying to conceive.  Everything also went through so perfectly that I know without a shadow of a doubt that God opened this door for a reason.  My friends I do not believe in coincidence. 
     So, my best friend in the entire world is throwing me a shower next month.  Will it be different?  You bet it will not because she won't throw an amazing shower, but because there is no baby nor a hint of a bump.  However, I cannot think of any other time in my marriage where things have been normal or according to plan, so why start now?  Until next time, always Chasing Hope.