Sitting in the car outside of Babies 'R' Us, I am filled with this sickening feeling way down deep in the pit of my stomach. I know I need to go into this baby fueled building and register for my upcoming baby shower. The only thoughts running through my mind are completely toxic. How will this go? Will they judge me as soon as I walk in and don't have that bump? What will they say once I share that we are adopting? Will they even consider me a mommy? All of these questions are insane; frankly because I don't know anyone and why would they care.
Walking a little too quickly to the door and a cold chill in the air, I enter with my other rock by my side. I am so relieved that Chase came with me. Stepping up to the counter I see that it is vacant (thank you God) and sit down in front of a clipboard where I will have to fill out information about myself. Great here come the crazy questions. Almost instantly I am speechless all over what line two on the form says. Are you adopting? That little line made every little fear vanish until the employee came over to "help".
Upon sitting down she's asks a simple question. When are you due? For a woman like myself it is one I hate to hear. There isn't a due date, at least not yet. The only think I could think of to say was, "1-24 months". I'm a smarty pants what can I say. That got her to look up from her computer and I said that we were adopting which she would have been able to see if she would have looked at the application I handed her. No harm, I'll assume the adoption registry is rare, but I am so grateful that it is even an option.
Then she proceeded to ask when the due date was. I guess in order for them to register a couple into the computer you have to put in a date. Well, as I just told her not five minutes before that we were adopting and didn't have a date. I know people don't think this way, but if a couple is adopting the odds might weigh heavily that they can't have children or are having problems having them. Why would you continue to ask a woman who doesn't know what to say and mentioned that we were adopting, the same question a million times? Finally settling on the shower date, we moved past that wonderful question and arrive to the fun part, adding items to our registry.
All I have to say is WOW, they make so much baby stuff. It was so overwhelming just looking and trying to figure out what we might need. I cannot imagine having the extra added hormones of a pregnancy and making a registry. We fire off a few things because honestly we just want to stick with the basics. Making our way back to our to the counter, we spot our lady that helped us fill out the paper work. To tie a bow on what I knew would be a strange trip, she proceeded to tell me how she was a doula and if we needed anything here was all of her contact information. Again not pregnant or having a baby, it was too bad that she couldn't remember that little bubble I filled in earlier.
The long and short of this post is that adoption is making its way a little stronger into our culture. Sadly, the worker awareness when helping a potential mother might not be the best but at least it's a start. Any progress is progress I guess. Until next time, always Chasing Hope.
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