Within the last 3 plus years, my major focus has been to get pregnant and start our family. There have been many sleepless nights hoping and praying that the doctors would be wrong about our infertility and God would give us our miracle. In a way God is giving us our miracle, but in a different form, adoption.
Upon signing on with Angel, I have felt a peace that I have never felt in the last 3 years of trying to get pregnant. Our pending adoption has me more at ease than if I were to find out I was pregnant. Truth be told I do not want to be pregnant at this moment. While it would be a miracle, Angel would freeze our contract and it would resume when the baby was a year, but we would also have to redo our home study thus forking out money again. The money is not the issue, but the possibility of another miscarriage really scares me. However, there are at least 40 possible issues that we could face with adoption. I know that this is were we are supposed to be right now. I can just feel it.
It seems a little odd for me to actually write that I don't want to be pregnant. I want to be a mom and I feel like God has opened this specific door for a reason. It's like our light at the end of the tunnel is actually there and were not just sitting around in darkness like I feel we have been the last 3 years. Some might think that I have given up hope of ever being pregnant. That is simply not true as a woman I will always have that hope and that might still be in God's plan for our family. At this time, this moment we are going to grow our family through adoption. Until next time friends, always Chasing Hope.
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