Remembering our Peanut

It's been a week since we found out that our little Peanut no longer had a heartbeat.  I am still overwhelmed by all the love and support we have received.  From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.  I have also had several people tell me that they love my blog, which came as a complete shock.  I have found that writing helps to clear my head, especially through all of the ups and downs we have experienced.  If you know someone who is going through the same things we are, please share my link.  I just want women to know that they are not alone. 
Now, for the real reason behind this post, remembering my sweet Peanut.  When I went to have my D&C, I was asked what we wanted to do with the baby after they did some testing.  We were told the day before that this would be asked, and I'm so glad the nurse prepared us for this question because at that moment I wasn't sure.  Chase and I discussed that we were just going to use the memorial service that the hospital provided twice a year.  It sounded like the best option for us.  So, this April we will be going to a service in honor of all of the loved ones lost.  The woman taking our information asked what we wanted our memorial to say as far as the name for the baby, Baby Hyde?  I told her since we weren't going to find out the sex we took to calling the baby, Peanut and that's what we wanted it to say, Peanut Hyde.  Sounds a little funny, I know, but that's how I will remember my first baby as our little Peanut. 
Of course, this could not be the only way we remember our sweet Peanut.  In addition to the memorial, in the spring we are going to plant a fairly mature tree in our front yard.  When we built our house, we had to tear down all the trees in the front yard due to the construction of the house.  So, we thought it would be a beautiful memorial for us in our front yard.  Every time we look out our front windows we will see an ever growing, strong and healthy tree.  We haven't decided on what kind of tree to plant yet, Chase is looking for the perfect one (as always).  We will be able to tell our children (biological or adopted, probably both), that mommy and daddy had another baby named Peanut, that had to go meet Jesus.  This tree reminds us of Peanut; it gives us shade when we fish,  turns pretty colors in the fall, and blooms in the spring.  It will always be a sweet reminder of the life we created and lost too soon.  As always, Chasing Hope.