I Didn't Know That Muscle Existed

     Chase and I have been going to Crossfit since June and have tried to attend at least 3 times a week.  With a hectic summer schedule we haven't always been able to go as much as we would have liked, but I will say that I'm hooked.  I have never been an athlete.  Growing up I only played summer slow pitch softball and never really did anything past 8th grade.  In high school, P.E. was my kryptonite I avoided it at all costs and even got to skip out  my senior year because I was doing an internship and taking several dual credit courses. 
     When I first started this insane form of torture, I was so out of shape and couldn't do any of the WOD without taking a break or immediately getting winded.  Now, I can keep up with some of the other ladies in the class.  I really noticed a change one Sunday afternoon.  I had one of my nephews and I was tossing him into the air and watching him giggle.  While doing this I thought to myself, huh, I could keep going until he was over it.  Another time we were outside and one of my older nephews wanted to get on my shoulders and ride.  Without batting an eye I picked him up with ease and put him on my shoulders.  Just a few short months ago I would have struggled to raise him that high. 
     It's not just in areas related to my boys that I have noticed that I am getting stronger.  I am one of those people who try to get all the groceries brought in with one trip.  Especially this time of year, the horse flies are enormous and practically attack you when you step out of the door.  Well this last time, I did have to make 2 trips, I hadn't shopped in a few weeks.  That last trip I managed to bring in 3 Wal-Mart sacks, 1 overloaded Aldi bag (I always cram as much as I can into my bags and then regret every minute of it when I carry them in), 2 gallons of milk, and a case of water all while screaming and running away from the kamikaze horse flies.  (If you're laughing you should be, my family always makes fun of me this time of year because I run and scream from the car to the house because of those stupid bugs.) 
     All of that to say I have never felt better.  I never thought in all my life I would get excited about a work out or dare I say enjoy lifting weight.  Each class is a new day, the WOD is never the same.  Some of the moves are the same but you never know what form of torment they are going to make you perform.  Sadly, I keep going back for more and in the foreseeable future I am hooked.  I love how I feel and I can tell that I am losing weight, even though its a slow process.  Until next time always Chasing hope, and feeling like Wonder Woman! 

My Daily Reminder

     With my brain still on vacation time, I barely survived my first Crossfit WOD in over a week.  Instead of feeling like I was going to die I actually missed that madness that is Crossfit.  Even though we missed and didn't workout on vacation and had way too much junk food, I feel like I haven't lost too much ground. 
     While driving home from the sandy shore line, I scoured Pinterest and scrolled through Facebook.  I came upon a Pin that I had posted earlier in the week of a fitness quote that I loved.  Using Word Swag, I fancied it up a bit and added my own back ground and viola the creation you see below.  It's nothing fancy, but I think the quote says it all.  To be honest I felt better about myself this year at the beach but I'm not where I want to be.  Where I want to be is back in a bikini not ashamed of what others think of my body.
     Now I know some of you will say, "Women should love their bodies even if they have curves and blah blah blah."  To have nice curves would be one thing but some where my curves turned into fat.   I haven't been able to stand how I have looked but for the first time in too many years I am finally feeling and looking good.  When I go back to the beach this year I won't be the woman sitting on the beach in her one piece and covered from head to toe.  Nope, I'll be the one in the bikini who isn't ashamed of how she looks in her swimming suit.  Until next time friends, always Chasing Hope and feeling fabulous. 

My Aching Body

     For a little over a month now Chase and I have been surviving Crossfit classes at a new gym in our town.  Are we crazy?  Yes, but we have tried many different work-outs and programs and nothing has worked for long.  The first two weeks that we attended there wasn't any charge for the class, so why not give it a try.  Now you need to know something about me and some of you already do.  I am not an athlete.  No, really, in high school I didn't play sports and I have never lifted a large weight in my life.  Within the last few weeks I will say that I survived the weight days and, for a newb, did pretty well, at least in my opinion, and that's really the only one that counts.
     I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would like something as intense and rigorous as Crossfit.  Let me tell you the atmosphere is completely different from going to the regular gym.  Why you ask?  Well don't you worry, you know I will tell you.  For one you have a trainer, and at times 2, showing you how to properly lift or do whatever it is you are trying to accomplish, which at this point for me is complete the work out in the time allotted and I'm always the last one to finish.  However, the way I see it is that I am there and trying to better myself.  The trainers are there for support as well.  Even though I always complain, I am so glad that I have someone telling and showing me what I need to do. 
     Another thing that surprised me was that I actually like it.  Now while in the midst of said work out I will tell you it is pure hell, but I have found that I would rather be sore than have that feeling of not accomplishing anything.  Even when I have rest days I feel like I'm missing something. 
     The last thing that took me off guard was how nice the people were.  Now, by people I mean other people in the class and most have been working out and can do way more than me.  I will never forget the third day we went, the WOD (workout of the day) was a nightmare.  The torture began and yours truly was the last to finish, but as time was almost over the other classmates came over and were cheering me on to finish.  Even though my slow behind didn't finish the WOD completely I made it farther in the workout than I ever thought possible and the fact that others were cheering me on really lifted my spirit.  As I said before I am still the last to finish, but I do finish in the allotted time.  My goal is to one day be that person cheering on a newb to finish their workout because there is no greater feeling that thinking someone is on your side wanting you to accomplish your goal as well.  My body still aches, but in all honest I haven't felt this good in a long time.  Until next time, always Chasing Hope and feeling great. 

Infertility and the body

     This post to some might sound like an excuse and that's fine, but unless you have gone through any form of infertility you really might not understand exactly what I am talking about.  Within the last 3 years of trying to start our family I have gained weight.  Actually, since we got married I have gained weight, but I have heard that is normal.  After all the "good" wife makes her man dinner and a sweet dessert right?  That's just what I did, but this goes deeper than dieting or exercise. 
     During each month of trying to conceive there are different cycles that I would go through in my mind.  The first one starts on cycle day 1, depression, but also a hope for this cycle.  I realize that I need to be more active and maybe that will increase our chances.  So, I hop on my elliptical (or eucalyptus as my mom calls it) and workout.  This faze never lasts long because it's at the beginning of my cycle, within the last year, my periods have been very intense with heavy bleeding and horrible cramps.  Once it's over, there is a short window of time that I feel lead to work out again but then ovulation day comes.  I have heard that you should take it easy when you become pregnant for the first trimester to avoid a miscarriage.  In my brain that means lay around, eat chocolate, and pray that the baby is getting comfortable.  I know, not the best plan, but when you've prayed for so long for something you will try even the silliest things in hopes that it will work. 
     Thus, the inevitable cycle just keeps repeating itself.  I will say that for that small period of time that I was pregnant I did walk a little and did lose weight mostly due to not feeling well (I wouldn't dare call it morning sickness because I was never sick, I just didn't feel at the top of my game).  After the miscarriage I became a little depressed.  I think a little part of me wanted to see a growing belly so I ate to compensate for my lack of bump, but it just wasn't the same.  I knew I wasn't were I should be and part of me wanted to do something, but the other part said why when you do that when you could sit around and do nothing. 
     The turning point has been our recent adoption acceptance with Angel.  I finally feel like something good is going to happen for our family.  Even during my short pregnancy there was always the lingering fear of losing my Peanut and sure enough I did.  However, this feels right. 
     While we begin the adoption process, I have had to collect as many pictures as I can of Chase and I, our families, friends, our house, our stinky puppy Chief, and anything else that represents who we are.  I began to notice a common theme within the last year, my waist line has grown and I hate how I look in these pictures that we are about to send to potential birthmothers.  While we wait and pray for a birthmother to choose us, I will work out and try my best to eat right because for those of you that know me I am probably the pickiest eater on the planet.  When I meet our birthmother in person, I want her to think that I look different from my pictures.  I will be different; I will not only be mentally and spiritually strong but physically strong too. 
     I have always wanted to be one of those active and fit moms, but, in all honesty, I hate to sweat.  It's disgusting and in your best Jimmy Fallon voice, "It's just EWW!"  However, with age comes knowledge in life; if you want something so much you have to sweat and do the leg work to get there.  Only then can you look back at all the blood, sweat, and tears and truly say I did it.  I did it for no one else except myself.  Until next time, always Chasing Hope and not running out of breath.